it's seem i couldn't sleep again. Went out to take a walk , and it seems the security isn't good at here. Drinking had seem to be a habit of mine. Smoking, i try to smoke as less as possible. But this seem true, whenever you're sad, drinking and smoking seem to be your best friends. Lying on the bed for hours, hoping to at least fall asleep since I'm feeling extremely tired. Yea , i did fall asleep but suddenly my mind think about those few min, i woke up. Too painful . Just make my next few hours with sadness and confuse. Do you know , on that night. you gave me a huge 'surprise' . Your that decision , make you who once make me quit smoking and drinking more, to start it again. Your decision had caused me huge pain and grief. All of my looking forward to the future had went down the drain. Why do you have to make the decision that hurts me... Now, i don't know how to face you. Angry? Forgive? just don't know. my heart which shattered into little pieces , is hard to mend back again. Whenever i try to piece them back, the moment i think of those minutes, it shattered back immediately. Just too hurtful ... I wish i could forget those minutes... or wish u should have not make the decision...